It's Reality Check Time!

According to Chicago Tribune columnist John Kass, Congress has done it again. In January the U.S. House of Representatives enacted a ban on members accepting air travel on private jets. A few days ago they modified the ban, allowing members to use private jets if they have an existing "personal friendship" with the owner of the airplane. I guess they just couldn't handle the long lines at the security checks.

I'm sorry, but that's it! I've had enough! It's time to implement my plan to educate our reps about what life is really like without private jets and personal assistants. I call it the "Reality Check Sabbatical". It works like this:

Once every five years all elected federal government officials must take a one year sabbatical. While they will continue to serve in their elected offices, they must live like the rest of us. They will be required to:

1. Live on an annual income of $65,000 a year. (They can continue to accumulate their current pay, they just can't spend more than $65 K.)
2. Live in a neighborhood appropriate for individuals earning $65,000 a year.
3. Send their children to neighborhood schools and pay all required fees and charges .
4. Provide their own personal transportation. No limos or drivers will be allowed. They can call a cab, but must tip at least 15 percent. If they fly, they must fly coach, arrive on-time, and pay for their ticket with their personal funds. Aircraft will not be held at the gate to wait for their arrival.
5. Do their own shopping. They must spend at least 1 hour a week shopping, including at least one hour a month buying groceries at WalMart. They must also purchase at least 5 gallons of gasoline a month.
6. Manage all the paperwork for their medical insurance.
7. Do their own income taxes. They can use tax software like 'TurboTax', but no CPA assistance is allowed. If they screw up, they go to jail like the rest of us.
8. Live without personal assistants, cooks, nannys, or other perks of office.
9. No fundraising events, testimonial dinners, or the receipt or spending of campaign contributions will be allowed during this period.

There are, of course, some exceptions. The President can still use Air Force One and live in the White House. However, he will have to take his vacations in cheap time-share condos, he must spend at least 1 hour a month shopping at WalMart, and he will need to buy gas for the limo once every 2 weeks (and pump it himself).

Fight at the Pops

A fight broke out at a Boston Pops Orchestra concert last night.

When people can't even attend a refined cultural event without getting into a scuffle it is time to admit the terrible truth. We are doomed.

Movie Reviews - Oh My!

I occasionally browse the movie reviews on Yahoo's shopping pages, just to see what the real people think. Sometimes it gets a little scary. Here are some example reviews of a file aimed toward a teenage audience.

" A absolutly good film. If you never ave watchit this movie. It's a good moment. DO IT!!!!"

"he looks werid with long hair but hes still hot!! its the voice! he plays such a weird role i didnt quite get the movie but ne movie with josh in it is a good one!" ...(talking about a film featuring Josh Hartnett.)

And finally, one of my favorite reviews of all time: "here was no climax or resolution, which left me unfulfilled."

Me too.

Note: All material in quotes was copied directly from the Yahoo pages. These are the complete reviews - I didn't cherry pick a sentence out of the middle, nor did I change any spelling or punctuation. This is an example of your tax dollars at work educating our kids.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.